Scarlette's Rules for Living With the Avengers!
by Kitty Am I
Summary: Yes, entirely overdone, but I had some ideas, and I couldn't resist. My OC Scarlette's personal rules for living with the Avengers. Mentioned Clint/OC
1. Find The Nest is Officially Banned

**a/n: Hello, my loves! I DO, in fact, realize that these are EXTREMELY overdone, however, how could I resist? This certainly isn't the best rule I have in store! For further clarification on my OC, Scarlette, you might want to read Love Is Child's Play. Thanks for reading blah blah blah, oh and if you're a new reader, welcome to my world... I hope you took all your meds this morning ;)**

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**Rule One: The game "Find The Nest." has been officially banned.**

"SCAAAAAAAR" Tony shouted, running in to the gym where I was currently trying to take down Captain America.

"Kinda busy, Tony." I said, holding Cap in a headlock, while he struggled to get away.

"I need heeeelp." He whined.

"With what, Tony?" I asked, flipping Steve onto the mat, and climbing out of the ring.

"Uh... Science." Tony said.

"Hey, I'm not done with you!" Steve said from the ground.

"Duty calls." I said grabbing my shoes and heading out the door.

"I need help finding the nest." Tony said.

"As in Clint's nest?" I asked him, walking towards the lab.

"Yes."

"That doesn't sound like science." I said sarcastically.

"Please. Just help me out." Tony pleaded.

"I don't even want to know why you need to find him, but if I do, perhaps, know where this "nest" is, what's in it for me?"

"I'll buy you something shiny and expensive." Tony said.

"Deal." I said. Wait here.

I ran off to where the Nest was.

"Ey, Rapunzel. Let down your hair!" I said, from under an air duct.

Clint tossed me a rope, and I climbed up.

"Tony wants to find the nest. Prepare to take him out." I said.

"You're going to show him?" Clint asked.

"We've gone over this before. Hit him where it hurts, and he won't try to find your nest."

"Fine." Clint grumbled.

I went back to Tony.

"This way." I said, showing him to the fake nest Clint and I had set up for this occasion.

"Climb your way up, and he's all yours." I said.

"How do you get up here?" Tony said trying to climb the wall, but slipping.

I shrugged, and watched him fail.

"Gotcha!" Clint shouted, out of nowhere, and shot an arrow at Tony.

For the first time, Clint missed.

* * *

"Really, Clint. The amazing Hawkeye, with the never failing aim?" I asked, wrapping my thigh in a thick bandage.

"I'm sorry." He said for the ten-billionth time.

"Try harder next time." I said giving him a glare.

* * *

**Next Rule: Clint, Natasha, and Scarlette must speak in English at all meetings.**

**Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time!**

**-Kitty**


	2. All meetings are to be in English

**a/n: Hello loves! Thanks so much for the support, I'll try not to let you down! :) **

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**Rule two: Clint, Scarlette and Natasha must speak in English at all meetings.**

"...And then," Tony Stark said for the billionth time. "I was like, "Well, I'm Tony Stark. And he was like 'Wow okay yeah here you go...'"

"Tony needs to shut up, or we'll never get anything done at these meetings." I whispered to Natasha in Russian.

"You don't have to whisper. It's not like they can understand us." Natasha replied in Italian.

"Hey, don't forget about me." Clint said from across the table in Swahili.

"Wait... What are you guys doing?" Tony asked, upset that we interrupted him.

"Being extremely annoyed by 'Story Time with Tony'" I said sarcastically, in French.

"Stop that!" Tony snapped.

"Don't tell her what to do, Woman!" Clint shouted in German.

Natasha and I chuckled.

"That's making me uncomfortable!" Tony snapped again.

"Of course, that's the whole idea." Natasha said in Chinese.

"How many more language do you have?!" Tony shouted.

"Plenty." I replied in Spanish.

"I. Don't. Know. Any. Of. Those. Words!" Tony raged.

"You poor fool." Clint said in Japanese.

Natasha and I burst out laughing.

"Sorry I was late, we had an issue with..."

Fury stopped cold at the sight of Tony in full out rage-mode, pounding his fists on the table, while Natasha, Clint and I changed back and forth between languages, mid-sentance.

Thor and captain were watching intently, while Bruce was trying to calm down Tony.

"He'll never understand how funny this is!" I said to Natasha, in a mix of Arabic and Czech.

"We should do this more often!" Natasha said in a mix of Dutch and filipino.

"Enough!" Fury shouted. "From now on, all meeting are to remain entirely in English."

Natasha and I snickered.

"Is that clear, Agent Romanoff and Agent Morgan."

"What?! Clint was in on this too!" I said, laughing.

Fury glared at me.

"Yes, Sir." I cowered.

Tony chuckled under his breath.

"Oh, Tony! You hold it, you, or so help me I will crush your skull!" I threatened him in Finnish.

"English, Agent Morgan." Tony said, smirking.

* * *

**a/n: so yeah! xDD**

**Next Rule: Road trips are unacceptable**

**Stay tuned, and I'll see you soon, Lovelies! **

**-Kitty**


	3. Road trips Are Unacceptable

**a/n: Welcome to rule three, a personal favorite of mine that I wrote long before I had the idea to write this fic.**

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**Rule 3: Road trips are unacceptable.**

"Dear Lord, shoot me now." I said.

"That can be arranged." Tony shouted from the passenger seat.

Somehow, Steve had convinced us that a Christmas road trip was just what we needed to do, for "bonding" and "fun" or whatever.

I'm not sure what Steve's vision of "fun" is but mine certainly isn't sitting in a cramped minivan with six other people for a loooong car ride. Like a drive all day, drive all night, take turns driving all day, eat drive thru all day, for two weeks drive.

"I have to agree with Lady Scarlette, this is quite unenjoyable." Thor said squirming in the row in front of me, hitting head on the car's ceiling.

If you aren't familiar with how minivans are arranged, let me give you a quick refresher.

So, of course, there's the driver's seat, currently occupied by Steve, because he's the one who owns a minivan. (Don't ask. No one is quite sure why.) Then there's the passenger seat, occupied by Tony who called "Dibs on shotgun for this whole thing because I'm Tony Stark. That's why." before any of us could even say a word. Now the middle row, those seats aren't AS good as passenger or driver, but there's only two of them, so they're quite spacious. Those were taken by Thor and Bruce, because Bruce claims to have slight claustrophobia, and no one wants him to get irritated, and Thor because "He's a big guy." Now the back row seats, these are crap. And trust me. I should know. Especially when you're in the middle squeezed between Clint and Natasha. Yup. I literally got "the worst seat in the house". How, do you ask, did I get stuck with "the worst seat in the house?" Because "She's the smallest. She can deal with it."

Did you know it's literally impossible to sleep in the middle seat of the back row? You have no window to lean on to, and you have two other sleeping people planking you on each side. I'm operating on less sleep than Steve, who was driving. (There was a little incident, causing Steve to almost run straight into the road divider. Luckily those little marks on the side of the road did their job and made an INCREDIBLY loud sound, and woke up Steve, along with everyone else.)

"Steve, I think we should find a motel tomorrow." Natasha sighed after he nearly drove us off the road again.

"No! That's against our grand plan!" Steve protested.

"What about showers? It's been three days. The women and Thor need to wash their hair or it's going to start smelling bad." Tony said grumpily.

"Hey! You're just angry because your beard's growing in!" I taunted.

"Oh yeah? Well you're mad because you haven't gotten any sleep in three days!" He shouted back at me.

"Correct!" I said tossing some trash from the drive thru at his head. Normally Tony and I were best buds, but he was right, I hadn't had any sleep in three days.

Tony grabbed some left over French fries and chucked them at me.

I gasped, unbuckled from my seat, made my way to the from of the car, and promptly dumped the remainder of his soda on his head.

Tony threw me a punch, which I swiftly dodged.

"You jerk!" I shouted, kicking the back of his seat as hard as I could.

"Steve. Pull the car over." Clint said from the back of the car.

"At least I'm not annoying everyone with my PMS!" Tony yelled back, grabbing my arm and twisting it.

"Steve. Pull the car over." Clint shouted, the tension in his voice increasing.

"We're on a highway!" Steve complained.

I gasped. "Tony Stark! You're such an unsympathetic ego-maniac!" I said taking the head rest from his seat and continuously hitting him with it.

"Tell me something I don't know!" he sneered.

"Where do I start?" I asked, only stopping hitting him with the headrest for a moment.

"Steve!" Clint shouted

"On it." Steve said nervously, pulling over to the side of the highway.

"Tony, Scarlette. Out." Clint said, making his way from the back to where the automatic doors were sliding open.

"Yes Mother Hen?" Tony said sarcastically.

"You guys are going to settle this the right way." Clint said.

"And how's that?" Tony asked, obviously not that happy with Clint either.

"Arm wrestle. Winner drives, and gets to pick who sits in the passenger seat." Clint said smugly. That dog. I've got a secret talent for arm wrestling, and he wants to get out of the back just as bad as I do.

* * *

"You suck" Tony said from the back middle.

I smiled smugly in the rear view mirror.

"Oh, you guys." Steve complained, frowning.

"I'm bored." Tony complained again.

"Let's sing a song!" Steve suddenly exclaimed.

"NO!" Everyone said in unison.

We all just kinda sat there for a minute until Steve's voice popped up again.

"99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer."

"NO!" Everyone shouted in unison again.

Just like clockwork, as soon as the silence was established again, Steve's voice was heard again.

"You take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall."

"My God, Steve! I'm the driver and I say no singing!" I yelled

This time Tony joined in.

"98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer."

I groaned, and let them annoy themselves.

By the time we got to no more bottles of beer on the wall, the only people not singing were me and Natasha, who was—get this— reading Pride and Prejudice. Even Thor had joined in, causing the noise level in this car to go up by at least 400%. I'm pretty sure any car within 20ft of us could hear us singing.

"This song... I like it!" Thor shouted when they had finished the song. "Another!" He said pounding his fist into the arm rest, causing it to pop off.

"My car!" Steve cried.

"99..." Tony started.

"No!" I screamed at him. "No more singing!"

Clint, being the helpful and responsible person he was, started singing The Iron Man song, some crazy song some crazy person had come up with on the Internet that we had all committed to memory in order to annoy Tony.

"Reporters all swarm him, he just wants to play with his toys! Leave him be!"

This time I had to join in, singing Pepper's lines.

"Pick up your room! Wash your sheets!"

"Shut up!" Tony said. He really hated The Iron Man Song.

"Ash to Ash, dust to dust." Clint continued.

"If you're having problems don't bring someone else in the bed room!"

"SHUT UP! YOU SAID NO SINGING!" Tony raged. "THE NEXT PERSON WHO SINGS A SINGLE WORD IS GOING TO GET THEIR MOUTH TAPED SHUT!"

Clint and I silenced up, and stared out the window. "Who gave Tony duct tape?" I thought to myself.

"Bye bye Miss American Pie..."

Believe it or not, but the first person to get their mouth taped shut, was Thor.

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**A/N: **

**Next Rule: There is no such thing as costume switch day.**

**Thanks reading you beautiful people! If you enjoy it, drop it a review. Bless your face. Mindgeek! Peace off!**

**-Kitty**

**-Plus bonus brownies for people who can correctly label the sign offs to the YouTuber. If you list all three, you earn a special place in my fanfiction heart!**


	4. There is No Costume Switch Day

**A/n: Rule four! Another goodie :) Sorry ifs the dailyish updates become less daily, but even us homeschoolers have school to do too. :P If you have an idea for a rule, feel free to drop it in the review box, and I'll put it on my list :)**

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**Rule 4: There is no Such Thing a Costume switch day.**

"Pure Genius!" Natasha said, giving me a high five.

We had told all the other avengers that tomorrow was costume switch day, and if they didn't switch costumes with someone else, Fury would be pissed.

Surprisingly, no one second guessed my reliability.

"Scarlette..." Clint said from the door.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I wanted to make sure you knew that I'm not switching costumes with you." Clint said uncomfortably.

"I don't think I want to see that, Hun." I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay good, I was just worried that..."

"Clint. I'd like to get some sleep." I said, laughing.

"Yeah, of course. Good night." He said kissing me on the cheek awkwardly and quickly walking off.

Natasha and I were practically in tears once we made sure he was out of earshot.

* * *

"Oh Dear God!" I cried, covering my eyes as Thor came in to our meeting room, wearing the Captain American suit, that was nowhere near fitting him.

Natasha and I each wore our own suits. They looked exactly the same, so we lucked out considering she's nearly half a foot taller than me.

Steve didn't look too bad, but he kept getting tangled in Thor's cape.

Tony came in, wearing Clint's costume. It was just a bit small on him.

Next was Bruce, who claimed he didn't have a costume in the first place.

Lastly was Clint, struggling to walk inside the Iron Man suit.

"How do you move in this thing?" Clint's mechanical voice grumbled as he walked over to his seat like an awkward robot.

"Alright everyone, I've got a lot to say today, so no funny business, alright?" Fury said taking one look around the meeting room then pausing.

"What's going on here?" Fury asked cautiously.

"Costume switch day. You told us to switch costumes around?" Steve said, in all seriousness.

"No." Fury said flatly. "I did not."

Everyone looked at Tony.

"For ONCE, I had nothing to do with this!" Tony exclaimed.

"Sure Tony." Natasha said sarcastically.

"I didn't!"

In the end, Natasha and I got away with the entire thing since Fury believed our "We both had our own costumes, and know better than to pull stunts like this." speech. Tony, however, got reprimanded, again.

Clint also got hospitalized for a series of minor burns from JARVIS, who initialized a security breach.

Thor ripped the Captain America suit, in multiple places. Fury had to order a new one, and I'm officially scarred for life.

I still think it was an excellent prank.

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**Next Rule: Doctor Who Marathons consisting of all 896 episodes are prohibited. **

**Thanks for reading you beautiful people! **

**-Kitty**


	5. Doctor Who Marathons are Prohibited

**A/N: Rule five! Dedicated to all you whovians! (You know who you are!) I had lots of fun writing this chapter! I have to give thanks to Wikipedia however, because, prior to writing this, I had no idea how many episodes there actually were, but 896? Jeez! And thanks to DK for beta-ing this chapter on such a short notice :3**

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**Rule 5: Doctor Who marathons consisting of all 896 Episodes are prohibited.**

Another boring meeting. Tony hadn't pulled any stunts since the costume switch incident. Gah. Why did being a super-spy assassin, kick-boxing legend, member of a squad superhero have to be so BORING!

"Tony, what's your status on the arc reactor? Discover anything new?" Steve asked.

"I forgot," Tony snapped.

Pepper had been commissioned to attend a few meetings every now and then, on behalf of Stark Industries. Basically, Tony paid a bunch of money to S.H.I.E.L.D. in order to have an excuse for bringing Pepper to the meetings so she could do all the work for him. Pepper only rolled her eyes at his comment.

"Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something is remembered, it can come back," I muttered.

Pepper gasped.

"What?" I asked, slightly irritated.

"You watch Doctor Who!" she squealed.

"YOU watch Doctor Who?" I asked, surprised. Pepper CERTAINLY didn't seem like the sci-fi type. Maybe I just misjudged her.

"Yes!" She squealed again.

"Who is Doctor Who?!" Tony shouted suddenly.

"It's a British television show," Pepper explained.

"It's still around?" Steve asked.

"You watch it too?" she inquired excitedly.

"Uh no, I never got around to it..." Steve admitted awkwardly.

"They're up to the eleventh doctor," I replied smugly.

"Seriously?" Steve said, shocked.

"What are they talking about?" Natasha asked Clint, who just shrugged his shoulders.

"We are officially having a movie night tonight," Pepper declared. "Stark Tower. Everyone has to come."

"Why? I don't want to watch some television show about British people," Natasha grumbled.

"I'll have vodka." Pepper smiled.

Natasha muttered something under her breath in Russian, but it was too spoken too quietly for me to understand.

"Um, I never agreed to this," Tony said slowly.

"Sorry," Pepper retorted sarcastically.

"DO SAY, LADY POTTS, WHAT EXACTLY IS A BRITISH TELEVISION SHOW?" Thor boomed.

"Thor! Indoor voice!" I reprimanded.

"Sorry," he replied more quietly.

"It's a television show created in England..." Pepper explained cautiously.

"Is it a normal thing for you to watch this sort of thing?" Thor whispered.

"Yes..." Pepper answered hesitantly.

"Then I will cease this opportunity to enjoy a traditional Midgardian 'British television show from the kingdom of England,'" Thor decided, his tone still low.

"He does know he doesn't have to whisper, right?" Pepper asked me, concerned.

"Just go with it. Trust me, it's better this way," I whispered back.

* * *

Yes, the amazing Pepper Potts had convinced the entire Avengers Initiative to come over to Stark Tower, sit in Tony's home theatre, and watch Doctor Who.

Tony's home theatre was QUITE the home theatre, as you'd imagine.

There were about ten rows of leather love seats straight down the middle and a leather single on each side- did I mention they were recliners? In the back, there was a not-so-mini mini bar and a theatre-worthy, fully-stocked concessions stand.

Tony and Pepper sat in the front row, sharing a love seat, both with their alcoholic beverage of choice. Clint and I shared the one behind them. Natasha, sitting in the single nearest me, sipped her vodka slowly and cautiously, as if she were testing it for poison (which I'm fairly sure she has done before). Bruce sat in the single closest to Tony; Thor sat in the other single in the front row; and Steve sat in the last chair in the second row.

"JARVIS, search Netflix for Doctor Who Season One, Episode One," Pepper commanded once everyone had settled down with their drinks and such. I don't drink, so I opted for Red Hots- partially because I like them and partially because Clint hates them. They're the ONLY candy he won't steal from me.

Episode one appeared on the screen and everyone quieted down.

We watched for a while until I realized that this was NOT the first episode.

"JARVIS, this isn't the first episode," I said, frowning.

"What do you mean this isn't the first episode? Of course it is," Pepper said, turning around with her own frown.

"Then why is he the ninth doctor?" I demanded. "JARVIS, start from the beginning. The REAL beginning."

"If you say so, Miss Morgan," JARVIS replied and played the REAL first episode.

* * *

It had been three days, and Tony hadn't left the theatre room.

Pepper left the first morning, since she had to work. Natasha left once the vodka ran out. Clint left after about ten hours had passed. Thor, claiming that the way they portrayed aliens was insulting, also left early on. Steve's eyes starting hurting only an hour and half in, so he too left. I stayed until I realized that two whole days had passed since I had eaten anything excepting five hour energy shots, popcorn, and theatre candy. I'd already seen all the episodes anyway. We had JUST***** dragged Bruce out, as he was fascinated by the real science involved with the time travel; he kept saying, "That Doctor is on to something!" And Tony, well, he'd threatened to unleash a nuclear bomb (which was supposedly stored in his basement) if anyone dared to interrupt him.

"Tony! You have 26,808 hours of Doctor Who left! You need to take a break!" I pleaded.

"No!" he shouted.

"I'm opening the door," I warned, reaching my hand out for the knob.

"I have a gun," Tony growled from inside the room.

"Who gave Tony a gun?" I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"I stole it from Natasha. Hope you don't mind, Nat."

Natasha started patting her pockets, and sure enough, one was missing. Her eyes went cold and her lack of sleep kicked in.

"Anthony Edward Stark," she hissed angrily and proceeded to kick down the door.

"We do have fully functioning door knobs," Pepper pointed out shakily.

"The light!" Tony moaned dramatically.

"JARVIS, shut off the projector," Natasha commanded, pinning Tony's arms behind his back and dragging him out to the rest of us.

"I'm afraid Tony has restricted anyone from doing that besides himself," JARVIS replied.

"Tony," Natasha warned calmly.

"No! Please, Romanoff! One more episode!" Tony pleaded.

Natasha immediately flipped Tony over onto the ground.

"JARVIS..." Tony moaned. "Turn off the projector.

* * *

Everything was going fine until Fury found out about the bomb threat and Tony had to be interrogated.

Apparently Tony's response to interrogation was: "It's all Morgan's fault! Punish her."

Guess who else had to be interrogated.

This girl.

* * *

**Next Rule: Clint may not sing a song composed of Tony Stark's comebacks.**

**Sooo, what did you think? How about you leave me a review ;)**

**Thanks for reading you beautiful people!**

**-Kitty**


	6. Clint may not sing Tony's Comebacks

**A/N: Thanks a billion for all the crazy support! I finally finished the cover for this story, yes click it! Click that little picture and check it Out! And yes, the girl in the middle is Scarlette :P**

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**Rule 6: Clint may not sing a song composed of Tony Stark's comebacks.**

"Clint, please! I swear to God, please! Just don't do it!" I whispered as we walked to today's meeting.

Clint just smirked, his hand tightly clasped around mine.

I sighed as we entered the meeting room and we took our seats at the table.

"Stressed?" Tasha asked me as I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"You'll see." I said rolling my eyes.

* * *

"That awkward moment when" Your self-absorbed, Ego-maniac, billionaire best friend, and your easily jealous, obnoxious, assassin fiancé get into a heated argument about just about everything during your SHIELD meeting...

"It's not that simple, Katniss." Tony spat. "You should pay more attention to what your little girlfriend does with her brain."

"Maybe you should be paying less attention to what my "little girlfriend" is and isn't doing with her brain, Tin Man." Clint hissed.

"Many things are relying on the fact that I do, in fact, know what she's doing in the lab." Tony retorted. "Things like, whether or not the entire hellicarrier is going to explode."

"Tony, I've got a little something for you." Clint said, standing up and walking to the head of the table.

"No, Clint. No." I whispered, staring him in the eyes.

"It's a song. I wrote it myself. It's called "Crap Tony Stark Says" And I'd like to dedicate it to you." Clint said.

"Go ahead, Robin Hood." Tony smirked, leaning back in his chair and kicking his feet on the table.

Clint started the song, singing about "A special person" who "always knew what to say." but unfortunately I had already attended this concert, and knew where It was going from there.

"No hard feelings Point Break, you've got a mean swing, I don't like being handed things."

"Clint, stop." I asked calmly.

He just continued. "Give yourself 12% of the credit, Threatening! I'm feeling threatened!"

"How did you even know about that?!" Tony asked.

"He's a spy, Tony." I groaned, and Natasha chuckled.

"Phil? His first name is agent. Finally someone who speaks English."

Bruce laughed under his breath, remembering when Tony had said that to him.

"Shut up!" I shouted, causing Steve to laugh.

Must I say, Thor was already polluting the air with his loud, boisterous laughs the second Clint started singing?

"Make a move reindeer games? Doth mother know you wearith her drapes?" Clint continued

With that I stormed out of the room, not wanting to hear the rest of it.

The laughs of the entire avengers initiative could be heard throughout the entire meetings wing, disrupting many things, and frankly, pissing me off.

Tony got reprimanded for starting a fight again, and Clint actually got a raise for being able to find all that information out, and remember it all.

Natasha however, had her sunglasses with the video cameras, and Clint went viral.

That was good and bad. Good, because Clint got his punishment, and bad because it caused a HUGE Ship-wide panic, because some internet dunce tried to hack into our security cameras and see what other comedic gold we had stored.

Let's just say, that guy will be lucky if he gets off of SHIELD radar anytime in the next few years.

* * *

**Next Rule: Clint may not Sing.**

**Thanks for reading you beautiful people!**

**-Kitty**


	7. Clint May Not Sing

**A/N: finally a new rule! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Rule 7: Clint May Not Sing.**

Natasha and I were chatting during a meeting, Clint had a devious glint in his eyes, and I was starting to get worried.

"You know," Clint said to Thor, Bruce, Steve and Tony "We would make an excellent boy band"

"What makes you think that?" Natasha scoffed

"Well obviously, Clint sings, A bet Bruce would be a SMASHING drums player, Thor and Steve would be perfect eye candy, and I could pay for all our publicity." Tony explained.

"Clint doesn't sing." I argued, but instantly regretted it.

Clint cleared his throat, and stood up from his seat. "Let me sing you the song of my people." He took a deep breath. "Hey! I just met you. And this is craaaaazy. But here's my number so call me maybe!" Clint sang.

I shook my head.

"Weeeeee are never ever ever getting back together! Weeee-eee are never ever ever getting back together!" He demonstrated.

"Like ever." I smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"Touché, Morgan." Tony winked.

"Alright, alright. I do however think this last song will change your mind." Clint confessed.

"Doubt it." I said smugly.

"Op op op op oppa gangnam style. Op op op op oppa gangnam style!" Clint sang, (must I say off key?) while attempting to do the dance. However, his attempts fell short. Tony immediately got up and started dancing with him. Thor kinda broke some stuff while Bruce tried to teach him, and Natasha and I just ditched the meeting.

No more singing, Clint.

* * *

**Next Rule: Roller Skating is Not a Proper Team Bonding Exercise.**

**Thanks for reading you beautiful people!**

**-Kitty**


	8. Skating is Not a Proper Bonding Exercise

**A/N: I love you guys. You know that right? **

* * *

**Rule 8: Roller Skating is Not a Proper Team Bonding Exercise**

"Scarlette!" Clint shrieked as his legs shot out from under him and he fell onto his back.

"Sucker." I said in a sing song voice, as I skated past him gracefully.

Bruce had convinced us that Roller Skating would be a great team bonding exercise, and for some reason, we actually went along with it.

As you could imagine, Natasha and I were the only ones who were somewhat good at it. Bruce was pretty bad considering how much he wanted to do this, Thor's skates were too small (they didn't have his size) and he just walked around painfully outside of the rink most the time. Steve... Nobody knows what happened to Steve... He skated into a large group of kindergarteners and no one saw him again until we left. Tony found a birthday party, paid the kid a hundred bucks, and ate his cake.

"Awh, you poor baby." I said, Turning sharply, and skating up to where Clint sat all grumpily. "Come on, I'll help you."

I extended my hand to him, and he promptly pulled me onto the ground next to him.

"Sore loser." I mocked.

"You may be better at me at skating, but you will never be able to beat me at Just Dance." He said smugly, as he struggled to stand back up.

"Just Dance is a little kids game." I said, standing up, grabbing his hand, and proceeding to drag him behind me around the rink.

"Whatever." He said jokingly.

We skated around the rink peacefully for a while. Every now and then I'd glance over at Clint, who was always beaming.

"FRIENDS" someone shouted from behind us.

I spun my head around just long enough to see Thor bumbling towards us.

"HELP SUPPORT ME FRIENDS FOR I AM UNABLE TO KEEP MY BALANCE ON THESE WHEEL SHOES"

Clint then said something in German that I'd prefer not to translate, but I'll assure you, there was children around, and that is why it was said in German.

Thor crashed into us, and we all came tumbling to the ground.

"Thor!" I complained.

"I APOLOGIZE MY FRIENDS, THESE SHOES ARE A HINDRANCE AND I CANNOT CONTROL MY MOVEMENTS WHILE WEARING THEM."

I rolled my eyes. Clint was laying face first on the ground, unmoving.

"Are you okay?" I asked laughing, nudging him.

"Don't touch me." He said muffled. "Just leave me here. Tell me when we are leaving. I'm not moving until then."

Skating is dangerous. Skating is painful. Skating is now against the rules.

* * *

**Next Rule: Just Because Someone Looks like Scarlette, Does Not Mean They Are Scarlette, no Matter How Exactly Alike They Look, Even If She Actually Has the Same Freaky Hair Dye Job, And You Cannot Kidnap Them and Tell Them They Are Lying When They are Not**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing you beautiful people!**

**-Kitty**


	9. No kidnapping look alikes

**A/N: OHHHH MYYYY GODDDDD! MY LIIIIIIIIFE! My Internet was down for AN ENTIRE WEEK! I WENT INSANE! but the good news is that I wrote every planned chapter (as of now) for this fic, so daily updates should be effective immediately :D**

**Anyway, I'm a huge mindgeek (fan of Meekakitty) sense once Meekakitty is Scarleette's face claim I feel this chapter was necessary. Also, nerdfighter reference, mythical beast reference, and duh mindgeek and lewnatic :) **

**DFTBA :)**

* * *

**Rule 9: Just Because Someone Looks like Scarlette, Does Not Mean They Are Scarlette, no Matter How Exactly Alike They Look, Even If She Actually Has the Same Freaky Hair Dye Job, And You Cannot Kidnap Them and Tell Them They Are Lying When They are Not.**

So Fury sent Natasha, Clint, and I to infiltrate some convention, VidCon I think. He said there was "people dressed as Loki" and he wants us to make sure they're not plotting to take over the world. Well it turns out, Tony wants to go crash this superhero meet and greet thing he wasn't invited to, so he came with us.

"Tony. If you see anything. Call." I instructed, as he walked off towards the convention in his suit, carrying his mask.

I briefly examined my undercover costume as I headed to my post. Incredibly bright yellow pants, Knee high white converse and some odd tee shirt that said "Space Crustaceans, Crustaceans from Space," on it, with some weird drawling of a giant lobster eating some people. Clint was wearing his own pair of designer, pre-ripped jeans, and a shirt that read "Good Mythical Morning" and had some odd bird on it, breathing fire. Natasha was wearing black jeans, black hight tops, and another odd tee shirt however this one read "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." Pride and Prejudice. A book Natasha secretly was a huge fan of. Although it was bright purple and the back read "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries."

At first I was wondering how all these crazy clothes were going to help us blend in, but once we got in the convention, I realized how much we really didn't stand out. I lost Clint for like, twenty minutes, and he was right next to me.

Every now and then I would get stopped, and asked for a picture. I denied seeing as I knew none of these people.

"Tessa?" I heard as I walked down a seemingly empty Hallway.

I spun around.

"Tessa, I thought you were at the meet and greet?" A girl with brown curly hair asked, she was wearing a shirt very similar to mine, except it was black, and mine was navy blue.

"My name's not Tessa." I told her.

"Fine, Meekakitty, whatever, what are you doing here?"

"That's classified." I snapped with narrowed eyes. "Who are you?"

"It's me. Shawna. Tessa what's wrong? Did you get trampled or something?" She stammered.

"My name's not Tessa! Or Meekakitty! And I have no idea who you are!" I huffed off, ditching this crazy.

* * *

**Clint's POV**

I walked around in this huge crowd. People were lined up to meet a bunch of Internet stars, and of course, in order to blend in, I had gotten a few autographs myself, one from a "Charlieissocoollike", these two guys called "smosh" and a bunch of other weirdos. I got into one line, and when I got to the front, it was Scarlette!

"Scarlette... What the heck are you doing?" I whispered.

Scarlette just stared at me oddly. She had changed into some white shirt with a drawing of a tree on it, and she was now wearing a hat.

"Scarlette, come on, let's go." I said dragging her from the table.

"Uh..." She said. "I'm not Scarlette. I'm Tessa Violet."

Crap. One of the Loki's must have brainwashed her.

"Stark. Scar's been brainwashed. Help me out here." I commanded into my comms.

"Awh come on Merida, I just started a repulser demo!" Tony whined in my ear.

I dragged Scarlette by the arm as I argued with Tony.

"Shawna!" She shrieked as someone walked by. "I'm being kidnapped!"

I punched her in the jaw. Hopefully that what make her snap out of it.

"What did you just do!" The girl Scarlette called Shawna said as she ran over to her side.

"This is official business, you need to stay out of this." I barked.

"Tess, you change quick." She murmured as she attended to Scarlette.

"What are you talking about?" She asked. "I've been wearing this the entire time."

"Wait... " Shawna said. "I just saw Tessa, wearing something else, and claiming not to be Tessa. You found this Tessa and you're claiming she's someone else? Tessa must have a doppel ganger!"

"Seriously." I said coldly. "Not only did we find someone who looks exactly the same as Scarlette, they have the exact same wacky hair job?"

"Yeah, it is kind of impossible." 'Tessa' agreed.

"Well then, what do you have?" Shawna asked.

I stared blankly.

"Mouse, do you copy?" I asked in my comms unit.

"Yeah, what's up." Her familiar voice sounded in my ear.

"Meet me in the hallway by convention room 9... There's something odd happening here."

"What did I tell you." Shawna smirked.

"Gosh, Shawna. We are never ever getting back together!" Tessa shouted.

"Like Ever!" Shawna shouted back.

"You call me up and say "I love you" but.."

"THIS IS EXHAUSTING!" Shawna interrupted.

They glared at each other for a while, then erupted into laughter.

What odd, odd people.

"I see you, what's happening?" Scarlette said.

"Come here." I whispered.

"Woah. You look exactly like me." Tessa whispered, as Scarlette came up behind me.

"Who are you..." Scarlette mumbled precociously, her hand reaching to her hidden gun holster.

"I'm Tessa." She chimed.

"You were calling me Tessa earlier." Scarlette said to Shawna

"And he was calling me Scarlette." Tessa gestured towards me.

"Even our hair is exactly the same." Scarlette remarked with a slight chuckle.

"Which is freaky, considering I dye my hair myself, and used about five different colors to get this."

"I went to a salon, asked for something weird"

"Maybe they saw mine, and copied it." She suggested.

"I was in Europe."

"Oh. We're from Canada."

"I'll visit sometime."

"Come on Scar, let's go."'I said. So far this mission was a bust. Natasha lost comms early on, and Tony's being stubborn.

"Isn't it funny how she was wearing a space Crustaceans shirt, and she didn't even know who we were?" Shawna whispered as we walked away.

"Space Crustaceans, Crustaceans from Space!" The girls burst into song again.

"Space Crustaceans, they'll eat your face!"

* * *

**Next Rule: sing in the shower at your own risk. **

**Thanks for reading don't forget to review!**

**-Kitty Lee Renner**


	10. Sing in the Shower at Your own Risk

**There won't really be any authors notes for a while since I'm lazy and yeah.**

**If you know the song Clint is singing, I adore you please PM so we can be BFFL for life.**

* * *

**Rule 10: Sing in the Shower at Your own Risk**

The avengers like to sing in the shower. This is something I found out the first day we all had to stay at Stark tower at the same time.

Steve likes to sing the National Anthem, and America The Beautiful, and all that patriotic stuff they play at ball games that only grade school students know the words to. Natasha sings sultry Russian ballads. Tony sings ACDC. Bruce sings whatever was on the radio that day. Clint sings nonsense songs (and sometimes dubstep), and Thor... Sings Lady Gaga.

"RA RA RA RA RA RA ROMA RO MA MA" Thor boomed from the bathroom two floors below me.

"Ughhhhh" I groaned face palming.

"GAGA OH LA LA WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE."

"He does realize we can all hear him, right?" I asked Clint, who was wearing ear muffs from the shooting range.

"No, and neither does Natasha, Steve, or Bruce. Don't tell them, they all think it's only Thor's loudness. I actually set designed this building so that it amplifies your voice in the shower." Tony responded.

* * *

"Where the land of the freeeee" Steve belted, holding the last note as long as possible.

I groaned again. Thor had just gotten out of the shower, and I could hear my show, (I was watching Psych, the most amazing crime show on air.) for about five minutes until Steve got in, and became Whitney Houston.

.

"And the homee, of theeee, braaaaaaaaaaaaaave!" Steve screeched. Needless to say, Steve's voice is not a pleasant one.

* * *

"I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS IF I HIT THE CRAY BUTTON" Clint's voice echoed through the halls.

Maybe I should reconsider the man I'm about to marry.

"I GUARANTEE THE WHOLE PLACE STARTS JUMPING"

I just wanted to watch television! Is that too much to ask? I got up and started to make my way down the hall.

"IMMA DO IT— WATCH ME HIT THE CRAY BUTTON!"

I banged on his bathroom door. "WE CAN HEAR YOU IDIOT!" I screamed.

"THAT'S THE POINT!" He shouted over the running water. "I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.S. CRAY"

I rolled my eyes and walked back to the living room, where Steve was sitting with a worried expression on his face.

"U.S. CRAY! U.S.! U.S.! CRAY!" Clint yelled.

"He does now it's U.S.A., right?" Steve gulped worriedly.

"It's a song, Steve." I rolled my eyes.

"It's a bit disrespectful." Steve said concerned.

I ignored him, and plotted how to get Clint to shut up, so I could watch my show.

"JARVIS, do you control the water heater?" I inquired.

"LET'S GET CRAY, TURN IT ALL THE WAY UP, GOT A DOUBLE DOSE OF BASS, WE LOVE IT SO MUCH"

"Yes, ma'am, technically, I do." He responded in an instant.

"Turn Clint's shower water up as hot as it goes. Scalding." I insisted. Clint always took freezing cold showers. I have a very high tolerance for heat, Clint is exactly the opposite.

"GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD! GET OUT OF YOUR SKULL! IF YOU AIN'T GETTIN CRAY, THEN YOU AIN'T GOT A PULSE!"

"Yes, Miss Scarlette." JARVIS responded, with just a hint of human emotions—he seemed slightly amused.

"I GET CRAY ALL DAY IT'S MY FULL TIME JOB. I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE. LET THE ROOF CAVE IN."

I just sat there quietly with a smirk on my face, knowing his obnoxious singing would soon come to an end.

"BOUT TO BLOW UP SOMETHING. HERE GOES NOTHIN."

Natasha walked in the room, and took one look at my face. "You're plotting something. What's going to happen? Please tell me I'm not the victim."

"You'll see." I smirked.

"WATCH ME HIT THE CRAAAAAAA-EEEEEE!" Clint squealed. "Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot!"

I laughed. Steve's eyes grew, as he sat there, stunned.

"Why did you do that?" He muttered, shaking his head.

* * *

"You had something to do with this, didn't you." Clint glared, as I Iced down the second degree burn covering his shoulder blades.

"Why would you think that, Baby" I said scuffing his hair, and he squealed as I pressed the ice to his skin.

He gave me a look that read. "We both know it was you."

"What? How else was I supposed to get you to shut up?" I laughed, as I held the ice to his back, and sat down next to him.

"I think you just wanted to see me shirtless." He smirked

* * *

Why does our team have to have such problems with singing?

* * *

**Next Rule: Scarlette is no longer allowed to train new recruits. **

**Thanks for reading you beautiful people! **

**DFTBA**

**-Kitty**


	11. Scarlette Cannot Train New Recruits

**Rule 11: Scarlette is no longer allowed to train new recruits **

"Listen up butterflies." I growled as I entered the conference room full of rookies. I had never played the drill sergeant before. This would be fun. "Wherever you came from, Army, Training Camp, mental institution, that's going to feel like a walk in the park. At the end of the day you're going to be begging to go back!"

A few of the weaker looking ones trembled, a few of the armies high fived, but the rest mostly stayed rock solid.

I paced the room. "Single file line, I'll give you a tour."

First stop was the cafeteria. "This is the cafeteria. This will be the place you go if you actually do good one day."

Then we went to the training room, where Steve and Natasha were battling it out.

"This is the training room. That's Steve, and she's..."

"Natasha Romanoff." One of the armies replied a little to quickly for my liking.

"You don't have a chance hotshot." I sneered.

"This is the infirmary. If you're lucky, this is the place you'll go if you try to hit on me or Natasha." I barked, staring right at that army hotshot. "And by hit on, I don't mean with fists."

"Archery range." I said as we passed a glass viewing wall, where Clint was practicing. They all oohed and aahed as Clint made every shot. "That's Clint Barton. If somehow you survive flirting with me, You're going to end up with an arrow up your butt."

We passed the labs. "Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. Piss the first one off, you'll be down 5K, piss the second one off, and we're all dead." I mocked.

We came back to the training room, where I had instructed All the avengers (except for Bruce. He wasn't allowed to train) to meet us exactly five minutes ago. Stark actually showed up on time, never wanting to miss an opportunity to show off his suit.

"Alright, You're with Steve." I pointed at one particularly cocky one. "You're with Clint." I said to one scared half to death. "You're with Tony" I said pointing to one who immediately protested asking how he was supposed to fight someone in a suit of armor with no weapons. I told him it was possible, and if he couldn't do it, than he needed to leave. "You're with me." I said pointing to another cocky one, "and you." I said glaring at hotshot. "You're with Natasha."

Hotshot cursed under his breath as he walked to where Natasha was standing with an intense hatred burning in her eyes. I didn't even tell Natasha anything, she just hated the cocky rookies.

"Ready, set, kill each other!" I commanded.

"She didn't mean literally!" Hotshot whined as Natasha beat him to a pulp.

"Oh, and Tasha." I said, while I held a squirming rookie in a headlock. "He thinks you're sexy."

He was knocked out and stuck in the infirmary before he could even scream.

Most of the rookies ended up joining him. All except for the few who quit and ran home crying to their mommies.

* * *

**Next Rule: No. More. Parties.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Kitty**

**GIVE ME YOUR HAND**


	12. No More Parties

**Rule 12: No. More. Parties.**

Guess who's just turned 35... Yay...

I spent my birthday trying to avoid every other human being. I asked Fury for permission to ignore my schedule, and have everyone else's, so I could train and study in peace.

I quickly dashed by the cafeteria where Steve's mandatory once a week bonding lunch was currently being held. Come on Morgan, you can do it. You've just got to make it to dinner.

I hate celebrating. I never celebrated anything as a kid, and holidays and birthdays always hit me by surprise. I always forget to get a gift for someone, and then my panic attacks act up, and I end up in the infirmary on Christmas Day. However, I had promised Clint he could take me to Dinner. A quiet dinner, just the two of us, but he has to promise not to tell anyone that it was my birthday.

"Agent Morgan.." Coulson said as I ran into him.

"It's not my birthday!" I blurted.

He winked. "Sure thing, Agent Morgan."

"Sorry to bother you." I apologized, and kept walking, my head down to hide my face, although considering my hair, that doesn't really help.

* * *

5:30. Not a single person has wished me a happy birthday all day. Point one Agent Morgan.

I dug through the closet Natasha and I shared, searching for one of the few fancy dresses Pepper had bought me that I brought on the Hellicarrier. (You never know when you're going to have to infiltrate the presidential inauguration. It's a lot of fun, and I was the only one who didn't have to borrow a suit from Tony!) I finally found one in the very back of the closet. It's this pleaded gold shimmery skirt thing that goes to my knees, that I wear with a black long sleeved scoop neck tee shirt, white tights, and -gasp- black high tops. Pepper would kill me, but I don't think I've worn a single pair of high heels with the outfits she's bought me. Except for once when I wore my fancy spy heels (they've got knives in the heels, cameras in the soles, and lots of other goodies) on a mission.

There was a knock at my door.

"Good evening, Mr. Barton." I said in my best high British accent as I opened the door.

"There's been a change of plans." Clint stammered.

"What do you mean "Change of plans"?" I inquired.

"It wasn't me! I swear! Someone else told him!" He stuttered.

"Someone else told who, what?" I demanded.

"Tony's throwing you a surprise party." Clint gulped.

"He WHAT?!" I snapped

* * *

"SURPRISE." The room resounded as I walked in the door.

"Where is Tony Bloody Stark!" I fumed.

The Red Sea of strangers parted, creating a path way to where Tony was chatting with even more strangers.

I grabbed his throat and shoved him against the wall.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I shouted.

"Scarlette! Scarlette!" Pepper screeched as she attempted to pull me off of Tony.

"I am going to murder you in front of all your little house guests Tony Stark. It will be slow, and painful, and humiliating." I hissed.

"Someone help me out here!" Pepper wailed.

Most of the house guests evacuated to the other side of the room.

Tony's face started turning purple.

"Scarlette, stop. He can't breathe!" Clint demanded trying to help Pepper.

"That's the bloody point!" I snapped.

Clint managed to pry my hands from Tony's neck, grab me by the waist, sling me over his shoulder, and proceed to carry me back outside.

"TONY STARK YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH MY FRIEND!" I barked, kicking and hitting Clint as hard as I possibly could.

"We'll be back when she finishes her tantrum." Clint apologized, like I was a little kid.

He took me in the hall, and dropped me on the floor. I immediately stood up and socked him in the face as hard I could.

"Scarlette!" Clint shouted.

"I am going to kill that..."

Clint put his hand over my mouth to prohibit me from finishing.

"Are you done?" He asked, removing his hand once I gave him a nod.

"I need something to punch." I hissed.

"Punch the wall." He suggested.

I spun to the wall behind me and punched a clear hole straight through the wall next to the door.

"Tony'll fix it ." Clint promised. "You good?"

"Yeah." I mumbled.

* * *

**Next Rule: Do NOT hide the coffee.**

**Thanks for reading, DFTBA :3**

**-Kitty**


	13. Do NOT hide the coffee

**Rule 13: Do NOT hide the coffee**

The Avengers are completely different people in the morning.

"Good Morning Scarlette." Pepper chimed.

"Shut up before I break your nose." I growled, sitting down at the table.

"Well look who's just a bundle of sunshine this morning." Clint teased, kissing my forehead.

"Don't joke with me Barton, I know where your nest is." I hissed.

"I think we all learned our lesson about messing with Scarlette in the morning, so let's leave her be, shall we?" Natasha stated.

Natasha, Clint, and Pepper were all obnoxious morning people, and I hated them for that, but trust me, They're the odd men out, not me.

Pepper opened her mouth to wish Tony a good morning, but he cut her off before she even spoke one word.

"Save the chit chat, Potts and give me my coffee." He grumbled.

Thor trudged into the kitchen, and might I say Thor's bed head, not a pretty sight.

"WHERE ARE THE POP TARTS YOU PETTY, GOOD FOR NOTHING MIDGARDIANS." Thor thundered.

Pepper handed him an entire box of strawberry frosted pop tarts. (Hey, I thought we were sharing those? Don't I get any?) and he sat down at the table.

"OH MY GOODNESS. ARE YOU REALLY EATING THOSE THINGS? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BAD THOSE ARE FOR YOUR HEALTH? YOU GUYS ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE AND YOU JUST THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY BY EATING JUNK LIKE THAT? COULDN'T STARK AFFORD FRUITS AND VEGETABLES?!" Steve ranted as soon as he saw Thor put one pop tart to his mouth.

"I'm sorry, but the last time I didn't give a GOD what he wanted for breakfast, I got my face pounded in. Who CARES if he eats junk?!" Tony shouted.

I think we were all so caught up in Thor and Tony's argument to even realize that none of us had our coffee.

I scanned the room for a delicious cup of steaming hot caffeine but found there was none.

"WHERE IS THE COFFEE?!" I suddenly burst in rage.

Pepper shuddered in a corner.

"YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS DON'T YOU POTTS?!" I screamed.

"You guys... The extreme amount of caffeine you guys drink in one morning is extremely hazardous to your health." She argued quietly.

"SO WHAT?!" Tony and I shouted in sync.

"And I got rid of it..." She added quietly.

"SO HELP ME I WILL MURDER YOU DEAD PEPPER POTTS!" I screeched.

"Here.. Try tea, it's healthier." She suggested.

"TEA?! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?! CHINESE?!" I raged.

"I thought you lived in China for ten years..." Pepper quaked.

"Ooh... Strike one Pepper. It was Japan" Clint reported.

"JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE ME TO STARBUCKS." I yelled at Clint.

"You're wearing pyjamas..." Clint acknowledged.

"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?!" I fumed.

"Of course not..."

* * *

**Next Rule: No CoD after 10PM**

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalala**

**-Kitty**


	14. No CoD after 10PM

**Rule 14: No CoD after 10PM**

Just another night at Stark Tower right? Sorta. Clint, Natasha, and I had this stupid mission at 5AM tomorrow. Obviously Fury doesn't know his agents well enough to know that I am a genuine monster in the mornings. But then again, that would make me that much better at taking down our targets, but perhaps he doesn't realize that after we take down our target, I'll most probably be (making an effort to) take down him.

So yeah. It's 10PM now, and I'm trying to sleep so that Clint and Natasha will be able to pry me from the bed at 4:30 AM. Otherwise it would just be impossible.

So I'm staring at the ceiling, thinking of poems I memorized in the tenth grade (for some reason that's how I fall asleep) when all of a sudden I hear:

"STEVE! YOU IMBECILE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SUPER SOLDIER?! COME ON! THIS SHOULD BE EASY FOR YOU!"

And it's not coming from who'd you expect.

"BRUCE CALM DOWN!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME STARK!" Bruce Thundered.

UGH! I'm not going to get any sleep tonight am I?

"DON'T GET ANGRY OR YOU'LL PAY FOR MY TOWER THIS TIME!" Stark threatened.

"THE ONLY REASON IM ANGRY IS BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID FAILURE OF A SOLDIER STEVE OVER THERE." Bruce ranted.

"I'VE NEVER PLAYED VIDEO GAMES BEFORE!" Steve shouted

"THIS ISN'T A VIDEO GAME IT'S CALL OF DUTY!" Tony insisted.

Great. So all this is over a video game?

There was low shouts, but soon it was quiet again. Hopefully they all gave up on the game, and went to bed.

"IN THE NAME OF ODIN STEVE, YOU ARE THE WORST SOLDIER EVER!" Thor boomed.

"OH YEAH?! YOU SHOT ALL THE GUYS ON OUR TEAM!"

"I DID NOT SHOOT BRUCE OR TONY. THE AVENGERS WORK BETTER AS A TEAM, WITH NO ONE ELSE TO HINDER THEIR POWERS." Thor argued.

"SHUT UP!" I screeched at the top of my lungs.

They all went silent.

"IF YOU GUYS DON'T STAY QUIET, SO HELP ME, I WILL REMOVE YOUR VOCAL CHORDS WITH MY TEETH!" I screamed again, waking up anyone who was still sleeping.

Quiet again. Now I can sleep.

"STEVE..." Bruce began, but had someone had obviously cut him off by punching him in the gut or something.

"THAT'S IT. I'M COMING DOWN THERE!" I warned.

Muffled shouts of "Go! Go! Run! Hurry!" Were all that could be heard as I rolled over in my bed and buried my face into a pillow.

No more Call of Duty after 10PM.

* * *

**Next Rule: TBA**

**GIVE ME SOME IDEAS SUCKERS :P **

**I love yewwww**

**-Kitty**

**SAIL**


	15. Valentine's day Never Again

**A/N: Okay so finally, another chapter. I've just got an extreme case of writer's block where I literally have no ideas for anything at all -_- well I got this idea somehow so here you go!**

* * *

**Rule 15: Valentine's Day... Never Again**

You were probably aware that there was recently a holiday. You're probably aware that I hate holidays. You're probably aware that my fiancé is the most obnoxious man on this planet, accepting my best friend.

Despite the other reasons such as everyone making fun of Steve for being unable to get a girl every year, and Natasha using the countless boxes of chocolates, and endless flowers sent from the rookies as target practice, This is why Valentines day is now banned.

Pepper and I shopped early, not wanting to arouse suspicion, (Tony had a knack of bribing SHIELD agents to take off work and follow us at the mall in order to find out what we were getting him for his birthday, with large sums of money.)

I ended up only getting a card for Clint at the mall (a cheesy one, with a picture of Merida that read "Daughter, I hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever!") I hated mushy, gooey, love-y dove-y (Wibbly Wobbly Time-y wimey? Everything's a Doctor Who reference, isn't it Scarlette?) stuff. Clint and I have had too many run ins with the "I'm not going to make it out alive, just remember I love you" type missions to waste our big speeches on something as petty as a holiday. I found these fancy sea-salt Caramels online, and knowing they were Clint's secret childhood favorite, I ordered them for him. Done. That was easy.

I was hoping Clint would get me something classy. Maybe some flowers, or chocolate (God, I love chocolate.) or maybe he'd take the subtle hint of me *accidentally* adding that sparkly blue TARDIS shaped ring to his Etsy cart on his laptop instead of mine... (Come on Scarlette. Your readers who haven't seen Doctor Who are getting really confused and are probably going to stop reading. Please don't stop reading! I promise I'll stop!)

But of course not. That morning I got a next from Clint reading "Love me, love me, say that you love me." Great. He's starting this Valentine's Day with Justin Bieber. This isn't a good sign.

Later in the day I got another text. "Girl, you can say anything you wanna. I don't give a shh, no one else can have ya."

Then there was "Baby, you light up my world like nobody else. The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed."

And the grand finale, right before our dinner with Pepper and Tony (Pepper begged we double date, there was an incident last Valentine's day where Tony got a bit drunk, and forgot who she was. Tony won't get drunk around me, at least, as long as I make bring my Sharpie collection, and make sure he knows. You only make that mistake once) He texted me a link to a YouTube video.

I think I died.

Clint had set up a boom box in front of Stark Tower for everyone to see, and sang along to "Kiss You" The actual only song by One Direction I had ever heard. (I've heard clips of "That's What Makes You Beautiful, and I've heard Clint sing it, but the only song I had ever heard completely through was Kiss You, because Pepper was obsessed, and wanted me to be to. Needless to say, I am not a fan of Pop music and Pepper could not force me to listen to another song.)

" And if you, you want me too, just make a move, and tell me girl if every time we touch, you get this kinda rush, let me say yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah, and let me kiss you."

It rang throughout the entire headquarters.

Everyone was playing it over and over again for weeks.

Funny thing is, the person who hates it the most, is the one who it was made for.

He totally should've gotten me a TARDIS ring.

* * *

**Next Rule: O.o**

**Thank's for reading!**

**-Kitty**


	16. Tumblr Memes may not be Used by Anyone

**A/N: I FINISHED IT OMG IT'S ACTUALLY DONE I DID IT CONGRATULATE ME YAY. THANKS FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL.**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Tumblr, Tumblr memes, and Tumblr terms are not to be used in Stark tower or the Hovercraft by ANYONE.**

* * *

It all began one day when Scarlette was enjoying her favourite secret past time - Tumblr. She left her laptop unattended for a mere five minutes in order to grab the box of Jammie Dodgers from the kitchen in the room over and that was all it took.

"HEY SCARLETTE?" Clint yelled from the hall.

"Mmm Hmm?" She asked as she returned to room, box of cookies in hand.

"Are we "Canon"" Clint asked, scrolling through her dashboard.

"Clint, You get away from my laptop and NEVER ask that question again!" Scarlette shouted, snatching it away from him.

"But are we?" He whined as she stormed out of the room, laptop in tow.

* * *

The next day Tony came up to Scarlette, placed a hand on her shoulder and asked in all seriousness, "Do you like the color of the sky,"

"Are you serious?" Scarlette groaned.

"Bi-"

"Don't answer that." Scarlette added quickly.

* * *

"See you later," Scarlette said, giving Clint a kiss on the cheek before turning to head back to the lab.

"The feeeeels!" Tony moaned, collapsing on the ground.

"Tony..." Scarlette reprimanded.

"But I ship it! I ship it so hard!" He yelled.

"Are you even sure you know what that means?" Scarlette questioned, setting a hand on her hip.

"Sass..." Tony replied.

The rest of the day, Tony was either humming or singing the lyrics to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" every time he passed Scarlette.

* * *

The next day, Scarlette sat down at the breakfast table extremely angry with Tony.

Tony walked in the room, and Scarlette immediately groaned.

"Walk up in the club, like what up, why is Scarlette so pissed?"

"Shut up with the tumblr jokes Tony!" She shouted, leaving the room angrily.

"Hey, Scar, what's wrong?" Clint asked.

"You! Tony! Tumblr!" She screamed.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, okay?" He said, hugging her and stroking her back.

"Alright," she sighed.

"It's not a big deal. Tony's just trying to get on your nerves."

"I know, I know. What do I do?"

"Just keep calm, and imagine how is touch the sky." Clint said, barely keeping in his laughter in order to finish the sentence.

She shoved him across the hall and into the wall. "I hate you." She spat.

"Chicken Nugger!" He jabbed as she walked away.

* * *

Over the next month Tony would periodically shout things at Scarlette like "Moriarty was Real!" Or "We're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" Or other fandom related statements of fandoms he didn't even belong to. (Although Tony did watch one episode of Sherlock once when he walked in on Scarlette watching it. It was The Reichenbach Fall. Tony hasn't seen a single episode since, and Scarlette had to pinkie promise not to tell anyone he cried.)

Eventually Scarlette decided to confront him.

"Tony, you need to stop with the tumblr puns!" Scarlette shouted abruptly during lunch.

"Swiggity Swad, why you so mad?" He answered simply.

"Tony!"

"Swiggity Swumblr, I thought you liked tumblr?"

"Yes but not when you-"

"Swiggity Sworry, I guess I'm sorry."

Scarlette sighed a sigh of relief. "Really? So you'll stop?"

"Swiggity Swill, can't say that I will."

Scarlette turned to Natasha, who was laughing quietly.

"Hold me back before Swiggity Swead, Tony Stark is dead." She growled.

Tony screeched, "Swiggity Swe, please don't kill me!"

"Swiggity Swife, I'm going to kill you with this knife!" She shouted.

"Swiggity Swop, I promise I'll stop!"

"Swiggity Swate, you're a little too late!"


End file.
